High School Graduation (AKA Three Hours of My Life That I Won’t Get Back)

York just graduated from High School over the weekend. It was . . . how shall I put this? Less than interesting?  I’m certainly glad he graduated.  I know high school was a big ordeal and lots of work and we are very proud of York for making his four years there a success (he was voted Most Talented and Class Clown. Guess which one I’m more proud of?). But there are very few more boring events than graduation. Do we really need several perky girls talking about how fantastic they are and how their futures are going to be so awesome!!!!!!?(And yes, it was all girls in York’s grade. Out of the top ten students, only one was a boy. Naturally.) These are probably the same girls who wouldn’t dream of talking to most of the kids in their grade only a week earlier.

Instead of a bunch of boring speeches, how about an elaborate musical number, complete with a rotating stage and ostrich feathers? Now that would be entertaining!  And instead of just announcing the grads (all seven million of them), how about pre-recording each one introducing themselves with a little personality and verve, like they do at the beginning of the Miss America Pageant?  (“Representing the Lakeline Villas Apartment complex, my name is McKenzie Kay Larson!”)

Nowadays they have the graduates wear medals and tassels of different sorts. I guess it’s so that the kids all feel better about themselves, like it’s the Olympics or something. One of the medals means “I’m graduating!” For real. You get it just for showing up. As if the cap and gown didn’t tip everyone off.  Sadly, nobody knows what all the different accoutrements mean. There’s no explanation in the program. All I can assume when I see a graduate walk by with a bunch of medals and tassels is that she must be a really Type-A person.

Naturally York couldn’t find his mortarboard when it was time to leave for the graduation. I asked him if he had it earlier  and he said, “no, my gown’s been lying on the floor all week and I haven’t seen it.” Oh, super; wrinkled shiny polyester. But he had a cap by the time he walked across the stage so he must have found it. Or maybe they have extras for just such an occasion.

Because graduation ended at almost 11:00 pm (don’t even get me started!), we were pooped and York was antsy to get on with his Marvelous Future, he agreed to pose for one–and only one–picture with us. Naturally he used his his-ultra fake smile that he reserves for all the most important occasions.

York Graduation


Let me include one of his senior portraits where he looks a whole lot better. If you know us in real life, you’ll be getting your announcement soon! I like to wait til after the event (just kidding, I didn’t get them done in time.)

York grad serious-1-2-Edit


| Filed under Family, IMO, Kids, School

3 thoughts on “High School Graduation (AKA Three Hours of My Life That I Won’t Get Back)

  1. Thank you so much. I HATE long ceremonies. I whined all the way through my son’s college graduation. Really? You had to read ALL the names?

    You want the truth? I asked my high school senior this year if we could skip the ceremony thing. I told him I would rather do something fun for him and his friends, rather than sit through a boring graduation. We totally blew it off. And it felt good.

  2. WOW, I though Suburban Correspondent’s idea was fabulous! I also liked your idea of film clips of all the seniors to be shown as they walk across the stage (5 seconds max each.) Why don’t you tell the admin about that idea! They WILL have a ceremony. This would at least make it interesting.

    I totally blew off my graduation for Master’s degree from USU! Nobody would have come that I cared about, so why rent a cap and gown? Who even cared about a photo? I stayed in Provo that evening where I had a new job with BYU, read a good novel, and ate ice cream! I congratulated myself in my most desired way!

  3. You are absolutely hilarious!! You are so witty. Congrats to your son. My son just graduated from high school last week too, and I am glad to know he is not the only one who absolutely hates posing for pictures.

    A fellow Texan mom

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