Things I will not be doing

Things I will not be doing:

Taking a photo of my outfit every day. What is going on with all these women who post a picture of what they wore each day? I’m all for showing my life on the interwebs, but posting each and every outfit? What a drag. Not only would that cause me to spend an obsessive amount of time thinking about my clothes, but then I would spend hours each day trying to make myself look slimmer, Photoshopping weird bulges and shadows. Let me just cut to the chase and tell you that I wear jeans every single day in the winter. I wear them with either boots or ballet flats. Those are the only two shoe choices. Then I wear a t-shirt with some sort of vest or sweater over the top. You can fill in the blanks however you want.

Starting a photography business. I’m not good at photography. I don’t really care that much about photography. I’m not going to start a business taking pictures of naked babies in hats that are knitted/have a gigantic flower. Apparently I’m the only mom not trying to do so professionally. I don’t get it.

Thrifting. I grew up with a super cheap mother. I learned to hate all dumpsters and garbage piled near the side of the road because I knew if my mother saw them, we would have to stop. I would wait, slumped down in my seat, praying nobody recognized our big-ass station wagon, swearing to myself that I would never pick through people’s garbage. And I have stuck to my word! No garbage picking for me! I realize that Goodwill and D.I. are not exactly garbage, but they are close enough. Going to garage sales and thrift stores triggers some sort of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder episode. I really do love a good value, and I know it’s the hot thing to redo vintage thrift. But it is psychologically impossible for me at this time.

Decorating my house in white. People sure love all-white color schemes these days. Whole houses are done in whites and creams (maybe a little grey thrown in if the people are feeling crazy.) It looks really pretty. Really. But one person’s “calm” is another person’s “boring”. I love color and pattern so much, the all-white thing doesn’t even begin to make sense to me. Plus, I would like to think about other things than if my kids are getting my white slipcovers dirty (of course they are!)

I don’t want you to feel bad if you like/do/attempt any of these things. They are just not me, you know? Are there any popular things that you will not be doing?

| Filed under Bad Things, IMO

19 thoughts on “Things I will not be doing

  1. You just completely cracked me up. I so get where you are coming from. But I have to admit one thing… while I don't pick up weird stuff on the side of the road… I will slam on my brakes for piles of wood for my fireplace (much to my husbands horror). That stuff is expensive! hehehe

  2. LOL, this post makes me crack up! i've noticed that whole 'what i wore' trend….wacky. i would not do that because i too am not all that crazy fashionable. AND THE WHITE THING??? UGHHHH/….i think it's atrocious. there's a restaurant in AZ that is all white and i refuse to eat there. i'm afraid my teeth would look weird 🙂

  3. I will not be jumping on the "what I wore everyday" bandwagon.

    Nor will I be hitching a ride on the "vlogging" bandwagon

    And I am okay with that.

  4. So it's posts like this that made me start following you. Hi.lar.ious. I'm right there with you. One more thing: it drives me crazy when people "tweet" and Facebook the same thing-even though their Facebook is linked to their Twitter, or vice versa. I barely care enough to read what you said the first time around, thanks for filling up my homepage telling me what you made for dinner.

  5. I agree with every bit of your list. I think the women who blog about what they wear are simply fishing for compliments or something like that.

    Great entry my dear!

  6. Yes, this is your weird mother. I WILL NOT be going to high class stores for furniture, clothes, or building supplies as long as I can get them from a dumpster or neighbor's trash can free. Yes, I still stop and look. Every time.

    In spite of that, I LOVE all-white houses. I'm so frenetic I need all the calming down I can get. I even need to be more boring. Admit it, Jen, I am many things, but not boring.

  7. i just fist pumped. any post that makes me fist pump will also make me come forward from stalking. i can't remember how i found your blog… but it is awesome. thank you for being logical and funny!

  8. I will not be attending any blogging conferences any time soon.
    Nor will I be making my own button for others to place on their sidebar.

    thanks for asking!

  9. I will not be:

    1. Having my daughter wear large flowers on her head. It distracts from her beautiful face.

    2. Baby tutus are also out.

    3. Opening an Etsy shop so I can sell earrings made out of buttons.

    4. Having my family pictures taken on train tracks.

    5. Buying a Canon Rebel.

    6. Painting one of the walls in my living room dark red.

    7. Eating all organic and local.

    8. Having a family theme at the beginning of the school year.

  10. Haha! This is hilarious, and oh so true. I've been lurking from time to time, since so many blogs I read lead me back here, but I am now on the ball enough to say that I'm a new follower and have added you to my blogroll. Always happy to see a fellow Austinite 🙂

  11. I, too, will not be doing a what I wear everyday post.

    I also will not be typing my blogs in all lower case letters.

  12. A) People are blogging about what they wear every day??? For real???? I must be out of the blogging loop. Or else all my friends have boring wardrobes. Thank goodness! How lame! Unless you're Carrie Bradshaw, I don't want to see what you're waering every day.

    B) All white houses? AGain, for real? Are these people who don't live in magazines? Wow. Crazy.

    C) You wear vests? Please tell me you are kidding.

  13. I've seen the outfit everyday thing and I don't really get it, either. If I did it, I could take a picture of myself in sweats and then add dirt to the picture throughout the week. That would be pretty accurate.

    And I avoid white at all costs. Unless it is towels so I can bleach them without causing spots.

  14. You are HILARIOUS! I came to look for that "keep calm carry on" post you wrote (where is that by the way?) and found this and laughed out loud!

    I love taking photos of my little one but I'm definitely NOT starting a photography business. I'm just spending a ridiculous amount of money on camera stuff to take nice photos for MYSELF! muahahaha!!

    I also did an anti-fashion post today because I DON'T GET IT either!!! Why do people post a picture of their outfit every day? And people love it? Or something! I don't get it!!! It was near torture doing the one today and it was out of spite. Not doin' that!

  15. Well, there might be something to be said about my not even knowing about this what-I'm-wearing nonsense. I follow A LOT of blogs but mostly birth and craft related.

    Anyway, I will absolutely NOT join the I-post-pictures-online-of-my-breast-dangling-about-with-a-small-child-secured-to-it.

    I'm ALL FOR BREASTFEEDING, but I just don't think my modesty has to be jeopardized to do so. (I also don't think babies should be covered with blankets – its the tigobitties that need coverin.)

  16. I was about to say that the blogs I've seen that have the daily fashion show are women who don't have children but then I do remember one that not only chronicled her clothing, she also chronicled her baby girl. I too am completely baffled behind this idea. The Lord must look down at his children and think what on earth have I created??? Haven't we got more important things to do? Also it's so funny to me that everybody and their dog is becoming a photographer. Sadly I have a few family members who are wanna be professional photographers.

    I wholeheartedly agree with the comment about not posing on the train tracks – we had a girl in our area get killed while doing a photo shoot. Another photo op I'm really tired of is sitting or standing in front of a dilapidated and graffiti covered building – it's U-G-L-Y! I don't get the logic behind it at all. If anybody understands that trend, please elaborate. I kind of think a powerful person says what's the most outlandish dumba$$ thing I could possibly do while taking this photo and end up having everybody do it to???? aha! I'll do it. then like a bunch of sheep people follow.

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