Yesterday was the Easter party at Ada and Jasper’s preschool. School Parties and I just don’t get along. There are so many reasons. Let’s explore: I have six children. Would you want to run any errands with six kids? Neither would I. When the kids are in school I have four hours to get all kid-free errands/fun stuff done. Private, child-free time is precious and holy around here and I don’t want to squander it watching my kids decorate cupcakes. Especially since each holiday means that I have to go watch four kids at two schools decorate cupcakes (yay for middle schoolers being too old for that kind of stuff!)
I dropped Ada off at Mrs. C’s classroom, then dropped Jasper off at Mrs.S’s classroom. Jasper was having trouble saying goodbye because he is madly in love with me and can’t bear goodbyes (totally true). So I sat down at the playdough table and tried to get Jasper interested in the rolling pin. Mrs. C. came running in and this was the conversation that went down:
Mrs. C :”It’s Ada’s Easter party today!!!”
Me: “Uhhh. Have fun with that . . . ” (I’m racking my brain trying to remember if I signed up to bring anything. No, I specifically remember NOT signing up for anything.)
Mrs.C: “She’s supposed to bring an Easter basket and twelve eggs with candy inside!”
Mrs. S: “Yeah, you were supposed to bring that for Jasper too.”
Me: “Do I have enough time to run to the grocery store? “
Mrs. C: “Yes, we’ll be hiding eggs after we do the chocolate fountain.”
A chocolate fountain at a Preschool party.* Let’s just think about all the ways this is wrong. As you can imagine it was a fiasco; hands in the chocolate, pencils in the chocolate. All the while a mom was wailing, “one fork for dipping, one fork for eating!”
But I got to the grocery store, bought 24 eggs, two baskets, a pile of candy and had everything stuffed and turned in within 15 minutes. Yes, I am a wonder. And yes, next time I will read the emails from the teachers and write down the info on my calendar.
On my way out of the school I stopped by the principals office. “Do you think that next year you could have a class for parents who just don’t care? A class where there are no parties?”
I didn’t stick around to see the horrified look on her face.
*I’m not even going to address the over-the-top excess that chocolate fountains at a preschool party signify. What happened to cookies and punch? On one hand there is all this sugar and fancy stuff and on the other hand you have all these parents with their allergy and food dye craziness. Can’t we just all go back and start over with nice, plain, delicious food? Whoa, I’m starting to sound like Jamie Oliver but without the cute lisp and British accent.