Girls in white satin

Boy oh boy, have I got some news for you!  I got a new bra!  I know, I know; you’re impressed.  But I actually had a free afternoon sans kids (thanks Mom!) and decided to give The Girls the support and shiny white satin they deserve.  

If you haven’t been bra shopping lately, you might not realize that there have been some great technological advances recently in bra-dom.  I ended up with a bra promising “An Instant Bust Makeover”.  If any bust deserves a make-over, it’s mine.  If I had known how things would look after nursing six babies, I would have strutted  my pre-pregnancy self around topless all day long.  But lets not get too graphic.

The lucky bra I chose features the “Total Solution”.  Its “Smartzone Cup Technology”  lifts, contours and (my favorite) “rejuvenates shape”.  Oh, yes, it does.  My arms keep knocking into my boobs which are back where they used to be.  

Here are some tips about trying on bras:

–It is recommended that a saleslady measure you.  Since I know my way around a tape measure I did it myself.  Find some website that tells you what the numbers mean.

–Start with a couple of bra styles that look promising.  Then get four or five size variations in each style.  And make sure to get bigger sizes than you think you might wear.  Seeing a woman with cups spilling over is no treat for the general public.  And just blame your babies for making your ribcage so gigantic.

–When you go shopping make sure you have on the snuggest knit shirt you regularly wear.  Then try that shirt on over your bra-to-be. A bra that can seem promising on your naked flesh can look lumpy and gross with clothes on over the top  (just ignore the gigantic tags hanging everywhere).

–Try not to faint when you see The Girls in the bright, flourescent light.  It’s always a shocker.  And don’t throw up when it’s time to put your old bra back on.  It looked fine before you tried on new bras, but afterwards it seems shockingly lackluster and dingy.  

–Shop wherever you want but Kohl’s has a TON of choices.  The service is lacking, though, which means you’ll have to redress every time you need to get a new size.

Maybe we should all make a New Year’s resolution to get a new bra. It’s a lot easier than that pesky “try to lose weight” thing.

| Filed under Good Things

10 thoughts on “Girls in white satin

  1. I just did this very thing for my birthday. Couldn't be happier

    Not gonna lie – I was hoping this post had pictures…

  2. Yes, just did this, too! I just stick with the same bra style now. Then I don't have to measure every time. The salespeople at Aerie in the mall are really helpful, and their bras are pretty good deals. They don't, however, promise any type of "Smartzone Cup Technology". That's pretty impressive. It's pretty hilarious to look at your old bra, huh? Mine was totally torn all along the side. Super attractive. At least no ones looking at it… for now.

  3. Too funny, Tib.! Newsflash—-I just got two new bras a few months ago and I love them—they are called boob minimizer bras—and they make me feel a bit more svelte….

    Happy New Year!

  4. I am a miser. I don't like spending money at all. It gives me anxiety. I blame the economy because I wasn't always this stingy.

    But I blow big bucks on a new ride for the girls. I only buy a new bra every year or so and when I do, I go all out.

    I buy my bras from a specialty boutique in Southern California that I used to go to when I lived there. It was worth all of the fondling and questions about my garments. I now know where to get the best fitting bra around. Nothing makes me look less rotund and overweight than a great-fitting bra.

  5. The girls post nursing, even after only nursing three kiddos, isn't a pretty sight. How come you never told me?!?! Geez, I would have had to rethink that whole breastfeeding thing… 🙂

  6. Love this as a New Years tradition! The gals at work have trying to talk me into getting a "wine bra" for my diet soda, but I quit for now, again. Maybe I'll treat myself to a new "rack' as my reward!

  7. I went to the Ghetto Mall (the Draper Outlet Mall) two weeks ago and it turns out one of the 8 stores still open there is a bra store. So I actually got measured for a bra for the first time. And guess what? I was actually wearing the right size! So I bought three new bras to celebrate (all half off). It is wonderful to have 3 new bras. I can actually rotate through them and wash them at regular intervals!

    p.s. The title of this post totally cracked me up when I realized what you were blogging about!

  8. Congrats on your time without kids and your new purchase!!

    After all the trauma the girls have had nursing 6 kids they surely deserved some tlc!

  9. I made the mistake of getting "fitted" when I was 6 months pregnant. Of course, the bras I spent a fortune on no longer fit. LAME.

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