Satan’s Sweat

When I had my first baby and started nursing, the most surprising thing (besides feeling like my nipples were about to be sucked right off my body) was how thirsty I was all the time. My mouth felt I’d been eating ashes. I started drinking gallons of milk, water, juice, pop–anything I could get my hands on.

India and I had a hard time getting used to each other. She was a pretty good baby but she had her issues. One of the most annoying things she did was to wake up bright-eyed every single night around 10 pm and stay awake for hours. Not crying necessarily; just being a baby.  Mister had a weird job that required him to be out the door at 4 am, so he had to sleep and was no help. After feeding and playing with her in the middle of the night for a couple of weeks I had reached my breaking point. I was so exhausted.  I had no idea what to do and this was before the internet when you could ask people on message boards all across the world for help. So I did the only thing I could think of. I fasted. I fasted and prayed that God would either make that baby sleep or tell me how to fix the problem.

But when you are nursing round the clock you can’t just give up food and drink. So I thought of the most important and beloved thing I was consuming and figured I would give that up as my fast.  With me being in such a constant state of bone-aching exhaustion the only thing that was helping me get through the day was my Big Gulp of Mountain Dew.  And of course I always  got the biggest one because I was so dang thirsty.


It turns out God didn’t need to answer my prayer. I answered it myself. Only a brain-dead new mother would not figure out that drinking massive amounts of caffeine would be the reason her breast-fed daughter was not sleeping at night.  Although I should have given up the Dew altogether, I couldn’t. So I stopped drinking so much and only drank it before 2 pm. And voilà! India started going to bed at a decent time and only woke up in the middle of the night to eat and would go right back to sleep.

This little story was just to point out the relationship I have always had with Mt. Dew. Some might call it a full-blown addiction but I prefer the term “love affair”. However, it occurred to me that as of Thursday it has been two whole months since I have had my favorite drink on the entire planet Earth. I’m pretty sure it’s my longest Dew-less streak ever.

I have given up sugar pretty much completely since December 31st. (Valentine’s Day and the following week were a complete debacle, but I’m back on track.) That includes Mt. Dew. Even at my weakest point this year, though, I have refused to give in to Satan’s Sweat.  As much as I love it, it’s my gateway drug. Once I start drinking the Dew, my healthy eating and drinking habits rapidly disintegrate.

So three cheers for me!  I feel like I’m strong enough to do anything now!

(And in case you’re curious, no, I do not have more energy. I have less. It stinks.)


7 thoughts on “Satan’s Sweat

  1. This is just the best story I have heard all day. Such a new mom “duh” moment.

    I am going on 2 1/2 months without Coke Zero or Diet Coke. I am hoping is rubs off on my husband because I don’t think I remember the last time I saw him drink water. It’s becoming unattractive.

  2. ugggg! I am ready to pop with my 4th and I KNOW I need to give up my Dr. Pepper so the baby will sleep better. This was just another reminder. Maybe I will try your before 2pm trick and see how it goes. Not that I get any sleep now with the 3 though…but thanks for the reminder and curses as well for the same

  3. That’s why God created the antithesis to Satan’s Sweet. Jesus’s treat? Hmmm…maybe not that good. But Diet Mountain Dew really is my only salvation since going off Coke. I think now that you’ve had the taste of the real thing out of your mouth for so long, you should give it another try. I actually ENJOY drinking it now instead of just suffering through it like I do with Coke Zero.

  4. Buddy Roberts told me I needed to read your blog. Because of you, along with “liquid sunshine”, we also call Mt Dew “Satan’s Sweat.” Husband loves the stuff. My saintly Utah MIL would agree with the term.

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