It seems to me (and my nether regions) that Charmin has been revamped. It is so soft I just can’t quite get over it. I’m off to Costco to stock up. I’m terribly afraid of running out of toilet paper, so we have large stockpiles. If you live near me, do not assume that I will share with you if the world ends or we have an influenza epidemic/ice storm/truckers strike. I will not. I will be miserly and chuckle softly to myself while you have to wipe your heinie with leaves. You could have been buying toilet paper all along but instead you bought lots of Christmas decorations and signed your kids up for the fancy football league. Serves you right! Uhhh, what was I talking about? Oh, toilet paper. Charmin is good. You might want to buy a little extra.

I feel slightly better about the whole Country Music issue since I saw Gwyneth Paltrow singing at the CMA awards last night. Even though she looked like she belongs in a big city. And probably has never been to most of the states in America where Country is popular (just jumping to conclusions here, but she eats macrobiotic and is married to a rock star. You decide.)

We own eight waffle irons. Mister is just a teensy bit obsessed with making waffles. We have a big Square one, one that makes waffle sticks, two belgian waffle makers–the kind that flip over when there’s a beep, and four Texas-shaped. It’s a little crazy. Ironically I don’t even like waffles.

It’s amazing how cold 75º can feel when you’ve been sweating your brains out for the last five months.

I found out yesterday that in order to even apply to grad school for a degree in architecture (my lifelong dream which you can read about here), I have to have taken calculus and physics (insert primal scream). My immediate thought was, “guess I’ll never be an architect.” But I refuse to be intimidated by numbers! Math will not win the battle! (wait, physics isn’t even math, right? It’s science? But it has numbers? Can you see the disaster this is shaping up to be?) I may have to spend a couple of years catching up at the Community College, but I think I’m going to do it! But I may not so don’t hold me to it.

I have watched every season of Mad Men in the last month and am finally up to Season 4 (remember I don’t have TV so I am the last person to know about good shows). Every night the people in my dreams are smoking and wearing 60’s clothes. I have several things to say: 1) Joan is my idol. She sounds so sweet but is tough as nails. She’s also a full-figured gal who rocks it to the max. 2)Does any woman ever say no to Don? There has got to be at least one female who sees through his skeezy ways. I had high hopes for that teacher last season, but no. What happened to her anyway? Is she coming back? 3)Betty Draper (that cold, dysfunctional fish) said my favorite line ever in TV:

Guy at riding stable who has a crush on her: “You are so profoundly sad.”

Betty: “No, it’s just my people are Nordic.”

Speaking of full-figured gals, when I gain weight, I gain a lot in my chest. Small-chested girls, listen up: big boobs make you look fat. The only way to not look fat is to wear tight clothes so that people can tell that you really are thin everywhere else. But tight clothes makes you look slutty. So these are your choices: fat or sleazy. A plastic surgeon is not going to tell you that.